They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
the raccoons are back...
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