yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I would fuck him just for his dog
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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