Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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