be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
