Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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