so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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