Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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