Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize