i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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