Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
