Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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