before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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