Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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