So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
