You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
