oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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