let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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