Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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