So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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