There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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