He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
