Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
