I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
This is the high leading the old right now
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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