i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
