Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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