Quick, to the slutcave!
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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