Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
