____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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