I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
