is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
