I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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