He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So drunk its hurt
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize