I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize