i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
