She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
