i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
