she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
where am i from again
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just pee around me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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