the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
