how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
