omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
