I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We were destined to go to rehab together
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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