Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
