Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
