Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
and you fell through a lawn chair
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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