just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
