he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
