This girl is more easily done than said...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
