GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
