im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
