i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
