I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
