I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
