Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
