8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
