this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
