Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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