fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
