Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
