I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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