Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
