didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
