we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
