shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Do vagina's smell?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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