Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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