Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
