you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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