Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
