Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I didn't notice because vodka
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
