True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
