Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
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