you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
