Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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