Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
