it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
