No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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