I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
