I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize