At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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