I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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