Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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