Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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