There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize